Arranged marriage..

..lie, fake what u are not, compromise on what you are just to get a yes from the socially acceptable “ideal match”

OR

..be yourself, discuss your likes and dislikes, passion and find your ideal match and be glad to get a no from the socially acceptable “ideal match” if that is not ideal for you

Choose wisely ☺️

Marriage : new age game of loosing and winning

They say..

Marriages don’t work now a days..

People marry and leave whenever they want..

No one thinks of anything beyond themselves, of the family, everyone has become selfish and self centered..

Marriage has now become a game for them..

And guess who is to blame..

Yes, the foreign culture..

But this is not shocking..

You know why??

Cause it has always been human tendency to blame others for their own mistakes..

Blaming is always easier than taking the responsibility and working on the issue..

Why feel the guilt when you can easily pass it on to others..

Let us take some time and understand the root cause that is being ignored..

While my friend was about to get married.. he was going for arranged marriage and his parents were busy looking for a suitable and so called ideal wife for him..

Whenever a family was about to visit them.. he was given a series of instructions..

..do not talk much

..get yourself cleaned up, you should look attractive

..remove all your pictures from fb, they must see only the right images

..don’t let them know that you have so and so friends

..don’t let them know your bad habits

..do this and do that

..hide this and hide that

Their main objective was to lure the girl and the family by displaying him as an ideal boy instead of his true self..

They must not reject because of so and so reason so just behave proper at that moment and get her to marry you..

And so the problems begin..

They faked when they were supposed to be true to each other and decide if they can really get along..

They get married..

And now staying together seems difficult because the ideal boy/girl has disappeared and they have to face the real nature..

Fights and fights and no happiness..

What do you expect then??

To continue with the unhappy life??

Why???

Why could you not be true in the first place and get in the relationship only if you think you can be happy together..

Why are you so compelled by the society that you ignore your happiness..

Why do you have to maintain an ideal image..

Be true.. be open from the beginning.. spend some time together before saying yes.. do not let he peer pressure take on you.. do not let the society choose for you..

And then see how many marriages work.. ☺️

And then see if the foreign culture is to blame..☺️

You can read my article some-dream-some-scream-yes-i-am-talking-about-marriage to know what is the right time to get married..

Permission denied 😐

Young me always had to ask permission from my parents for things I wished to do, places I wanted to visit.. but the thought of asking permission from your partner once you are married sounds bizarre..

Talking about the situations I have come across where in one seeks their partner’s approval even for the day to day things in life makes me re-think about the true meaning of marriage..

For me marriage, like any other relationship should be the bond that gives you strength to live your life the way you dream it.. not the one in which you feel entangled and your dreams die suffocating.

PS : discussing and informing differs from permission.. discussing your views with your partner and informing about your whereabouts is healthy.. asking permission is not..

I wonder why she needs permission to stay a little longer at her parent’s home. Does he follow the same??

I wonder why she needs permission from the mother/father in law to go on a trip with her parents..

I wonder why she needs permission to go on a dinner with a friend or to stay late to attend office party..

One should not need permission to watch a movie..

One should not need permission to take his/her kid out on a trip..

One should not need permission to focus om career..

One should not need permission to keep in touch with friends..

One should not need permission to follow the latest fashion..

One should not need permission to live life as per their wish..

One should not need permission for anything as they are grownups and have the ability to think and make proper decisions..

Marriage doesn’t give you the power to control.. it should give you the power to discuss and share..

Look for a companion and not a slave.

Please feel free to share your views 🙂

Some DREAM, some SCREAM – yes, i am talking about MARRIAGE..

Not sure about other countries, but in India.. your marriage is discussed right from the day you are born…😅

So, many of us grow up with the idea of getting married as the key milestone to be achieved..

While some Boys dream of riding the horse to his Queen’s palace..

Some Girls dream of being the princess of the prince on the horse..

Then there are some who just don’t get this idea of marrying..

Some who just scream on hearing the word itself..

Well, every coin has two sides.

The funniest part are the reasons to get married..

1) Cause you have to settle down… you are not settled unless you are married and you have kids..

2) Cause you are growing old..

3) Cause your friends are getting married..

4) Cause how long can parents feed you..

5) Cause you may loose out on the best guys /girls if you delay..

6) Cause it will be difficult to have kids after 30..

7) Cause your parents are ill..

8) Cause it’s your grandmother’s last wish..

9) Cause what will people think..

10) Cause you have a degree, a job.. what’s next..

11) Cause a girl’s true home is her husband’s home..

12) Cause she wants to wear a designer lehenga..

13) Cause you are lonely..

14) Cause it gives you the licence to have sex..

15) Cause she/he is beautiful/handsome, rich and educated..

16) Cause this is the ultimate step towards happiness..

Really??? Is this what you should get married for???

No.. a big NO..

Marry when you are ready to get married..

Marry when you are ready to accept the changes..

Marry when you are ready to accept the responsibilities..

Marry when you find some one you want to spend your life with..

Marry when you find someone who understands and respects you..

Marry when you find someone who loves you..

Marry when you are ready to adjust..

Marry when you are ready to compromise sometimes..

Marry when you find a true companion..

Marry when you are able to treat each other equal in all respects..

Do not rush and complicate your life unless you are ready.. cause it is a big change..

Let them give any reason..

As it is said..

Listen to all, but follow only your heart. ❤️